Michael at age 35

Michael Ryan Carroll at 35 years old:

1. What is your favorite color? Green, Blue, Orange
2. What is your favorite toy? My Computer, my cell phone, and my car
3. What is your favorite food? Peanut Butter
4. What is your favorite TV show or movie? The Rachel Maddow Show
5. What is your favorite outfit? Boots, jeans, belt buckle, dress shirt, tie
7. What is your favorite game? None
8. Least favorite food: Spinach, Avacado, Guacamole
9. What is your favorite animal? Bears, Dogs, and Penguins
10. What is your favorite song? Too many to list
11. What is your favorite book? Big Bear, Little Bear
12. Who is your best friend: Sharame
13. Favorite place to go: Pet Supplies Plus, Airports, and Temple, Texas
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Bonfires
15. What is your favorite drink? Powerade Zero, Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Mountain Dew, Whiskey (but I quit drinking)
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My dog and my cell phone
18. The thing you are best at is: Music and Writing
19. If you could change your name, what would it be: I wouldn’t change it. I love my name
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? History Professor or Psychologist
21. What do you want to do before your next birthday? See my girlfriend, Get out of debt
22. If you had $1000, what would you buy? A plane ticket to see my girlfriend; pay for my dog’s vet visit

20 Things I Would Do With $100+ Million Dollars 

If I were to miraculously when a HUGE lottery jackpot, what would I do with it? I would do some responsible things…and maybe a few frivolous things. But, most of all, I would do as much as possible to help make the world a better place.

1. Pay off all my my creditors and all of my fiancée’s creditors.

2. Buy a new, reasonable car, such as a Ford Taurus or Fusion, or something similar.

3. Buy a new pickup truck or SUV.

4. Maybe a sports car (Challenger, Mustang or Camaro)

5. Pay off my house and make improvements (new furniture, new fridge, new washer and dryer, new fencing, hire a professional organizer, interior decorator, landscape architect).

6. Hire a cleaning service to come in one or two days a week.

7. Pay my parents back for the estimated 100+ thousand dollars I have borrowed.

8. Give 2 or 3 million to my parents and my fiancée’s parents so they could have a nice retirement.

9. Pay off my step dad and sister’s medical bills.

10. Pay my parents’ health insurance premiums so my mom could finally retire and they could still be covered.

11. Give a reasonable amount to the rest of my family and friends.

12. Make sure my aunt could retire and be ok.

13. Fund my nieces and nephews college education, along with my cousins children and my fiancée’s nieces and nephews education and any of my siblings that want to go.

14. Donate, Donate, Donate (Church, my community organizations and any causes I believe in).

15. Fund my fiancée’s education, as well as pay off her current student loans.

16. Go to PRN at work so I could go to college, and also pay for college.

17. Join Net Jets

18. Buy my mom, step dad, sister, and fiancée’s parents new vehicles.

19. Pay off my sister’s house.

20. Save, Save, Save. Invest, Invest, Invest.









Returning to Work

Yesterday when I met with my supervisor, she told me multiple times how happy she was to see me, how glad she was that I am coming back, and how much I am needed. She also told me about a new program that she thought I would be good for, and asked if I was willing to get another certification through the state to be able to work in that program. Heck yeah! It feels good to know that I am still wanted and needed even though my work performance was not very good leading up to my medical leave.

Update on my surgery

I saw the doctor this morning for my follow up visit. He initially wanted me to see him again in 6 weeks, and did not want me to go back to work until then. I couldn’t do that, because I would have lost my job because I have no protection under FMLA due to currently working part time. So, I got him to agree to let me come back now, with restrictions, and I see him again in a month. I got the sutures removed, and he said that everything looks really good. He was able to save the nerves and muscle tissue this time, so I already have full range of motion, and won’t need a brace like I did for my right foot. My supervisor also has approved me to come back. Now, I’m just waiting on the paperwork to get through HR so they can officially approve it. If all goes well, I will be working less hours for a few weeks while I work myself back to my normal schdule. I am planning on working Wednesday and Saturday next week, to get the ball rolling on getting back to work.

Hearing God’s Voice

I truly feel that the Heavenly Father has been speaking to my heart and soul since I’ve been recovering. I thought having this surgery was a mistake. But, I needed it, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I was really struggling at work. I was struggling with who I was as a person, and who I was in Christ. Over the past several days, I have been questioning a lot of things. I thought I needed to do so much just for more money. I thought I needed to go back to college and start a new career. But that’s not the case. God has me where he wants me. I have a purpose for where I am right now. Will I have a job to come back to? When it’s all said and done, I’m not sure. But even if I don’t, God will provide. I will find another job. I will get my bills paid. There is another job that I was going to apply for, but I decided not to. Now, I believe that I should at least give it a shot. My purpose in life isn’t to be rich. I’m not meant to have the kind of lifestyle I’ve always dreamed of. I’m meant to be in the trenches, fighting side by side with veterans and people suffering from Serious Mental Illness. That’s why I have had the experiences that I have had. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. This has made me realize that I had to have this surgery to recharge, refresh and renew my heart, mind and soul to really go out there and be the best help I can be for those in need.


I love her. She is everything good in the world. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She completes me. She makes me want to be a better man.  So, why do I do that to her? Why do I treat her like she is nothing? How can I become so angry, mean, disrespectful and hateful to her? I get so stressed out sometimes. Stressed out and scared. Scared that I will fail. Scared that I won’t be able to make ends meet and support her financially. I let my fear completely take over my end, and every second of my day. I need to just stop doing that. She’s a real woman. She’s not a door mat for me. If I don’t change, I am going to end up a lonely, bitter old man.