Since the break up, and me moving out, I’m learning so much about myself. See, I have never really been on my own, fully relying on myself. I have always been in the military, or in college living with roommates and my parents paying my bills, or in college living on my own with my parents paying my bills. Even when I was married previously, I had my wife, and a few times we were living with my parents or her family, also with my parents paying our bills. And, then I moved to a new town a lived with my fiancée, also with the financial backing of my parents when needed. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t make withdrawals from the “bank of mom” every now and then, but for the most part, it’s all me. I am living alone for the first time in a very long time, and I’m more financially independent than I have ever been. And you know what? I’m making it.
I’m also learning that I’m fine on my own. I don’t need a relationship to be happy. I’m strong enough to be alone. And, I’m enjoying it! Do I get lonely and depressed sometimes? Yes. Do I still talk to my ex multiple times a day? Well, yes again. But I’m learning that I am strong enough to do this. I need to do this. I need to experience life on my own as an adult before I can ever be in a serious relationship again, whether that means working things out with her, or starting a relationship with someone new. I’m having fun! I’m becoming more responsible. I’m doing things that I never thought possible before.
I am also realizing how much I love my job. I have great supervisors, great coworkers and I work for a great company. Will I stay at this job forever? I don’t know. It is quite possible, though. And, I’m already taking steps to further my career with this company and to help make myself more useful to the company. Today, I will be submitting an application to get trained and certified in another specialty. If I complete the program, I will have every certification available for my position at this point. And the company is starting a new program for our clients in which the new certification will be highly valuable.
My plan is to complete the training, prove myself, get back to Full Time, and, as the company grows, hopefully be made a team leader. I plan on discussing this with my supervisor very soon.
And, I’m not stopping there. Once I can get myself reestablished and more stable mentally and financially, I am going to go back to college to finish my degree, making myself even more useful for the company, and also furthering my career.