Old Dreams Die Hard


Growing up, my dream was to be a pilot, or play for the Oakland (at the time LA) Raiders. When I got to high school, my dream changed slightly. I wanted to be an executive in the aviation industry, such as an airline executive, manager of a small airport, or start my own charter service/fixed base of operation (FBO). I also wanted to be in the military at some point, and had thought about trying to get in the CIA. As far as jobs in the military, I was considering Meteorology, Aircraft Mechanic, Air Traffic Control, Pararescue, or Intelligence. As a young adult, I wanted to play minor league hockey for the Fort Wayne Komets (something I still fantasize about often). Some of those came true. I was able to fulfill my dream of becoming a pilot, although not at the level I wanted. (I wanted to fly for Net Jets, FedEx, or the US Marshalls.)I was also able to fulfill my dream of serving my country in the Armed Forces. Being a professional or semi professional athlete, however, those dreams went bye-bye a long time ago. Any chance I had in being in the CIA were lost when I chose to go into the Infantry when I did have the chance to go into military intelligence (I thought I wanted more of a physical challenge than what I thought would be mental…boy was that a mistake). Now that I am older, even if I had chosen a different military occupation, I could never pass the rigorous psych evaluation to work for the CIA, NSA, etc. Now if I could do any job in the world, what would it be? Well my friends, I am undecided. I have thought about finishing my Meteorology degree or a degree in Aviation Management. But I still want to be an analyst for the CIA, even though it wouldn’t be the “cloak and dagger” operative that I had once dreamt of. I also wouldn’t mind working for the FBI as a Forensic Psychologist or maybe in local, state or federal law enforcement in the computer forensics field. I also wouldn’t mind being a chef. I am also interested in being the Executive Director of NAMI Indiana someday or maybe the State Commander for the VFW Department of Indiana. Right now my top considerations are probably the VFW State Commander, E.D. of NAMI Indiana, computer forensics, forensic psychology, and something that I really feel passionate about is doing pastoral care at a hospital. But, I’m a broke ass mofo trying to overcome 2 serious mental illnesses and a traumatic brain injury, and I’m getting older and more in debt by the day. The chances of me going back to college to be able to do any of that is growing smaller by the second. Whatever God’s plan is for me will come to be. I am learning to listen to Him. When I don’t, He kind of kicks me in the pants as a reminder. So I guess I should stop living in the past, and although I can plan ahead, I need not worry about the future. I need to enjoy the precious gift that is this moment, and not let this gift pass me by.

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